But there are those who don't know what they really want in life. They feel empty and they don't really know what to work hard for. There are those who think they know what they want but they end up thinking otherwise making all of their plans half baked and leaving them behind in pursuit of what they think they really want again only to prove themselves wrong.
I'm actually the type of person who doesn't know what she really wants and doesn't know if she really wants anything at all. All I know is that I cannot find any motivation to help my own life. I want to really know what I really want but at the same time once i think about it I end up stumbling back down to where I started. It doesn't really help if your environment doesn't really help nurture you sense of wanting to try or your desire to keep trying for yourself. It might actually just me internal where its just yourself not wanting to do anything at all. That's possible. But sometimes people with low self esteem tend to need a little bit more push of encouragement maybe to help them feel like they can actually do something. Sometimes being put down more can either go both ways. It will always depend on the person in question if they can handle the pain or not. But in the end people who cannot handle the pain tend to be blamed for letting themselves be taken down and not try to get back up. That is also true. But then again in my case I really want to know what I really want to do with my life.
What I know I like to do it play video games even though I'm not good at them but I still love them since I enjoy them. And I also want see a good story unfold wether it be a novel or a game. I love to see things unfold in front of me. But then again I end up thinking to myself, will I be able to produce a goal from such an interest? My love for video games when the people around me keeps telling me that such an interest won't bring me anywhere. I hesitate to take on what I know I would love because of what others think and that is a mistake on my part. But then again from a sensitive person's point of view it really is a hard task to over come. You get so affected by what others think that it can mess with you choices. The more confident you are the less you think about what others think about what you want and the more happy you are. The less confidence you have can also lead to you being bothered by what others think of what you are doing leading you to think that you may be doing something wrong.
I won't go giving off advice knowing that I myself is currently struggling on about what I really want for myself. I'll have to admit only few people believe in my abilities to be successful and the sad part is that it may not even be my family. Actually I'm pretty sure they are the ones who underestimate me to the point that its just devastating. Also you may place controlling. All I can do right now is to let what I think out and just let it flow on. A stuffy environment also wont leave room to grow I guess.
Probably the best thing I can hopefully do for myself to to finally break free from the norm and go do what I really want. Its really better than just simply regretting everything. Breaking away from what they disapprove of and go for it. Sometimes you really just have to break to rules to be happy for the rest of your life. (That also doesn't mean you can go on and do drugs... That is different. Drugs are bad and we shall not break rules regarding vices.) For now all I can say is that hopefully we can all find our true calling and finally live a life we love without any regrets.
I'll just put this here. It can also serve as a reminder not just for myself but for others who are going through something similar.
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