Goals, Personality, Confidence.

Goals are the things we want, the careers we strive to attain, the people we want to be like and many more that we tend to strive for. People become so driven to attain certain things and statuses and thats what pushes them to do their best on many things. Even to the point of pushing themselves over their limits to attain what they really want for themselves. They know what they want and they know how to get it. These people have hight self esteem and has a lot of determination to go through all the hardships being able to get back up after being knocked down several times. They know that all of their sacrifices wont be for nothing knowing that there will be a silver lining.

But there are those who don't know what they really want in life. They feel empty and they don't really know what to work hard for. There are those who think they know what they want but they end up thinking otherwise making all of their plans half baked and leaving them behind in pursuit of what they think they really want again only to prove themselves wrong.

I'm actually the type of person who doesn't know what she really wants and doesn't know if she really wants anything at all. All I know is that I cannot find any motivation to help my own life. I want to really know what I really want but at the same time once i think about it I end up stumbling back down to where I started. It doesn't really help if your environment doesn't really help nurture you sense of wanting to try or your desire to keep trying for yourself. It might actually just me internal where its just yourself not wanting to do anything at all. That's possible. But sometimes people with low self esteem tend to need a little bit more push of encouragement maybe to help them feel like they can actually do something. Sometimes being put down more can either go both ways. It will always depend on the person in question if they can handle the pain or not. But in the end people who cannot handle the pain tend to be blamed for letting themselves be taken down and not try to get back up. That is also true. But then again in my case I really want to know what I really want to do with my life.

What I know I like to do it play video games even though I'm not good at them but I still love them since I enjoy them. And I also want see a good story unfold wether it be a novel or a game. I love to see things unfold in front of me. But then again I end up thinking to myself, will I be able to produce a goal from such an interest? My love for video games when the people around me keeps telling me that such an interest won't bring me anywhere. I hesitate to take on what I know I would love because of what others think and that is a mistake on my part. But then again from a sensitive person's point of view it really is a hard task to over come. You get so affected by what others think that it can mess with you choices. The more confident you are the less you think about what others think about what you want and the more happy you are. The less confidence you have can also lead to you being bothered by what others think of what you are doing leading you to think that you may be doing something wrong.

I won't go giving off advice knowing that I myself is currently struggling on about what I really want for myself. I'll have to admit only few people believe in my abilities to be successful and the sad part is that it may not even be my family. Actually I'm pretty sure they are the ones who underestimate me to the point that its just devastating. Also you may place controlling. All I can do right now is to let what I think out and just let it flow on. A stuffy environment also wont leave room to grow I guess.

Probably the best thing I can hopefully do for myself to to finally break free from the norm and go do what I really want. Its really better than just simply regretting everything. Breaking away from what they disapprove of and go for it. Sometimes you really just have to break to rules to be happy for the rest of your life. (That also doesn't mean you can go on and do drugs... That is different. Drugs are bad and we shall not break rules regarding vices.) For now all I can say is that hopefully we can all find our true calling and finally live a life we love without any regrets.

I'll just put this here. It can also serve as a reminder not just for myself but for others who are going through something similar.

.Hack//G.U. Nostalgia! Part 1 (Introduction to the game & Vol.1 Rebirth)

I have played a few games in my time and one of the games that gives me that nostalgia run is definitely .Hack//G.U. games! Its like a nostalgia feels trip of sheer goodness.

(WARNING: This will contain some game spoilers that I can recall from playing the games from way back. So if you haven't played .Hack//G.U. series yet or you are currently playing it for the first time, I am sorry in advance! Also this is also going to be a long one. So yeah..)

It was first introduced to me by a friend of mine. When we visited her house we had nothing to do for a bit until she had this idea of popping in a game on her PS2. And of course, the game she puts in is .Hack//G.U. Redemption. At first I didn't know that was practically the 3rd installment of the game. The part she was on was the arena fight during the PK tournament that was set up by Sakaki when he took control of the G.U. I was pretty amazed at how the game was. And I also found the main character to be really awesome. I saw a few more of the game before we decided to try some Resident Evil 4. But before I left her house I asked to borrow the game for a day so I can try it out for a bit. When I started the game I was confused when it prompted that I can transfer previous game data from the previous games. So The funny thing is that I actually didn't get what it meant (since I didn't read the whole message which was something I shouldn't have done.) I though it meant I can carry on some of my items and other transferable stuff from a finished file of Redemption and it will require difficulty settings. Just like other games that makes you go up on difficulty just to get a 100% in the game. So this means that I ended up playing the entire G.U. games backwards and I didn't even notice it at all! I just laugh at how confused I got as i played the whole thing.

Well despite the confusion, I ended up getting so engrossed in the story and the game itself that I completely ignored the fact that some scenes doesn't make sense to me. Like how did Sakaki even get there and why were they so surprised to seeing him at the serpent of lore. I was also confused to see Haseo starting in Θ Hidden Forbidden Dragonbein(Briona Gwydion the Dragonbein Range) standing over the Tri-edge sign created by Ovan when he finally revealed to Haseo that he was the real Tri-edge. At first When Haseo had a monologue with himself at the lost ground I was confused on who Ovan was and why he was standing there. Of course I would only realized what happened there after I played the second game which took me quite a while to be able to play. That was the place were Sakaki fled to after losing control of Atoli and Moon Tree, which was converted in to an AIDA server, thanks to Haseo and the rest of the crew (Specific party members you are to use in that mission are Kuhn and Endrance. No I think you don't have a choice here. Or more like I never tried to deviate from that.) It was here that Sakaki finally infected himself with an AIDA seed before completely getting away from Haseo and Co. (That sneaky greeen headed pedophelic-pea-brain. Yep, He annoyed me so much enough to call him names. He annoyed me even more during his last attempt to foil my mission of saving the internet[or Haseo's] by initiating a PK tourney.) And of course from there Ovan appears and the whole reveal of being Tri-edge ensues with the PK of Atoli and Pi right in front of Haseo. (Oh... Ovan you sneaky badass.)

Since I ended up playing the entire series backwards I'll end up typing abut this backward but if I recall completely, I remember finishing the Anime (.Hack//Roots) before finishing the game since I had to return the copy of the game to my friend before I can finish it. So its more like I had a taste of the game before getting my own copy and finish it. So I was able to finally know who Ovan was via the anime and I  also got an introduction to Shino as well and most of Haseo's history. But even watching the anime didn't answer some of the questions I had about the game which lead me to first buy Redemption since I'm still pretty oblivious about the first two games. So I went on an amazing journey to find the third game so I could finally finish it. It took me a while but a very generous friend of mine who moved to Thailand bought the game for me as a souvenir from the country whenever she visits back here to my country. The game was amazingly in english and I was able to play with no problems. (But if I only searched for the voice over options I would have chose that they had their japanese voices and then have english subtitles. I likes every ones voices in japanese as it fits more. Though i give credit to Haseo's and Ovan's english voice actors though. But anyway setting that aside I shall now go back to the game.



So now that I've talked about my G.U. trip of confusion now I can talk about my gaming trip as I played all three titles for the series. First was Rebirth. It gave some of the scenarios from the anime and a brief introduction to how the game works and to how Haseo became a famous PKK (Player Killer-Killer) known as the "Terror of Death." We all know that he became like that due to his revenge driven goal of defeating Tri-edge and saving Shino who was now stuck in a coma after being PK-ed by the said Tri-edge. In search for Tri-edge, he went on kiiling PKers adter PKers which caught the attention of people Like Bordeaux who he kills and Sakaki who confronts him along with Atoli. Haseo is shocked by the resemblance her PC (Player Character) has with Shino. He eventually met Ovan again after 6 months where he got mad at him for his sudden disappearance. He then told Haseo to meet up with him at Hule Granz Cathedral where one of the best things I remember in the game happens in the form of a  cinematic where Haseo faces off with Azure Flame Kite. The fight scene was awesome but of course Haseo loses due to him being data drained by Azure Kite's own version of the Twilight Bracelet that ended up reseting Haseo's PC to level 1. From there on he has to start from scratch in his attempt to save Shino.

From here on Haseo meets all of the people who would help him out in his journey. He met Silabus and Gaspard who mistakes him for a newbie in "The World" and invites him into a dungeon where they were confronted by Bordeaux and others who want to get revenge on Haseo for his PKK days. They were driven off by Pi by telling them people from Moon Tree were on their way. Haseo and Pi didn't really had a good first meeting with Haeo calling her an "Old Hag" which angers Pi and prompts her to leave but not before telling him that his his PC holds a dangerous power. From here on out we will be able to see how bad Haseo's personality started out to be thanks to the PK of Shino. I'll have to say I got annoyed at Haseo on how much of a jerk he can be. But then again since he was the lead character there has to be some hidden reason (which was no so hidden and would prolly soften up so I went on to play the first game.) I have this habit of getting annoyed at characters who I know will turn out well but first started out bad if I know that was going to happen. And since I played the last game first so I kinda had that moment where Haseo really got on my nerve.

In this volume he also got to have more interactions with Atoli as she invites him to fields. In one field he and Atoli were able to come across a Tri-edge symbol which led them to the lost ground: The Dead World of Indieglut Lugh where they met Endrance and as they were attacked by an AIDA they were saved by Kuhn using his Avatar Magus. More things begin to happen as he gets invited to be the guild master of Canard and him entering the Demon Palace arena tournament. Here he faces off against Endrance with his creepy little AIDA cat names Mia. Thanks to this I pretty much get the clue of how similar or how obviously connected Endrance was to the character Elk from the four previous .hack games which focused on the adventures of Kite and his companions who were later known as the .hackers. So yeah creepy obsession with a cat would and very possessive of it and not to mention you name it Mia. Yup definitely Elk. Screams Elk to me. But of course when I played the third game first I didn't get a single hint since there was no Mia AIDA cat around that would indicate the similarities for me. Moving on, I forgot that he also interacts with Sakubo for the first time here in this Volume. He has a good relation ship with Bo who was shopping at the Canard guild shop. Saku on the other hand was a crazed fangirl of Endrance and thats pretty much it about her aside from being Bo's older sister. They share the same PC. Only some slight changes to the PC that can be seen to indicate which sibling is using the character. Among the two siblings I like Bo the most. Saku doesn't really leave that much of an impression on me aside from being a really crazed fangirl.

Haseo Basically wins his fight against Endrance. He also had a match with Kuhn, Pi and Antares during the tournament where Kuhn and Haseo fought with their avatars. During this time Haseo's avatar went berserk because of misuse. This pretty much scared Haseo while pleading for his Avatar to stop as it mutilated Magus. Seeing what happened Haseo learned his lesson. Moving on from the tournament, for winning the match of course there would be a celebration  at the lost ground: Hy Brasail, The Isle of Kings. During the event held here Atoli met Ovan and was told about Haseo's history with Shino and how similar their PC looked and prompted Atoli to act up on her own but not before confronting Haseo about it before leaving to a field all on her own. It was later revealed that Atoli was also an epitaph user and that she had also activated a Tri-edge sign that led her to a white room with lockers. Haseo, Kuhn and Pi went after her in the strange area and was then confronted by Azure Kite who Haseo believes to be Tri-edge. They first fought in PC form until Azure Kite transforms into an Avatar like being known as the Azure Flame God which Haseo faces off with using Skieth. After the battle Haseo and Atoli proceeds to reconcile with each other until the lockers at the back open revealing an AIDA inside to the players. It sends off a hypnotic wave to Atoli prompting her to walk towards it only to be snapped out of the trance by Haseo but he it didn't prevent Atoli from being attacked by the AIDA hands that entered her PC but soon left her. She then faints probably from the shock and as her PC falls down we could see Haseo and the others run towards her. The screen goes black and a Triedge sign appears cutting through the screen with Haseo screaming Atoli's name which prompts the end of the first game.

by 蝉.com

Most of what i can remember here is how Haseo really ticks me off. Yep. I like the first game but maybe if I played this one first I might have a different impression of his "rebellious" age.  Like what Pi said in the 4koma videos... Haseo is an epitome of a teenager acting out. (yep I love those 4koma sections.) There was nothing really much for me to say but all all I can repeat is how much of a jerk Haseo was. And not to mention how Tri-edge obsessed he is. Well I know why he's so tri-edge obsessed so I can let it pass. From here on out the character development mostly for Haseo and Atoli slowly spans out and I am happy about that and their development will continue on as the series progress. And Since this post is getting long I'm going to cut this entire blog post by parts corresponding to the volume of the game. So pretty much i didn't realize that while I type I ended up narrating things I could remember from the game. I'm a bit impressed on how accurate my memory is but obviously this ended up becoming spoiler bonanza. Well, there will be more on the next post since I'm gonna reminisce about Reminisce! (ooohh get it? Reminisce like remembering? Like recalling? Ehh? ehhhh? You know? Puns? Yeah... I'll stop right there before I get myself lynched.)

Here is some Azure Kite creepin' on our lovable Haseo!

Super smashing on my 3DS!

So I finally got my hands on a truly legit copy of the new super smash bros. game! I first tried out the demo, which only allowed you the use of Mario, Link, Pikachu, Megaman/Rockman and Villager. So in the demo I was pretty much too excited just to play it to bother if there was anything off about it. I actually loved how the villager plays. I like his play style since it was quite unique and I pretty much didn't expect that the Villager from Animal Crossing would be there which made it more worth my while. Next was Megaman, I'm pretty sure SSB veterans (like those who can actually play this game in a really professional level or those who are just plain competent) can use him far better than I can. I admit that I had a hard time figuring him out. His move sets are pretty cool but the style of his gameplay doesn't really mix with me. But there is one thing I really love about Megaman and that is his final smash. I love that they managed to place different versions of Megaman with very good detail despite only showing them for a split second. It just shows how much effort they place even on the tiniest detail. I enjoyed my time using the demo version though it was pretty much limited to only 5 characters and only 1 stage to play on and it doesn’t really say much if you only limited to that.

But once you get the full game you get to see more of what the game has to offer. I got to use most of the new characters and I was able to adapt to some of them pretty easily and the others I need a little practice on. I also find the new stages very fascinating since most of them are reminiscent of games that appeared on handhelds and some were throwback  stages from the older smash games such as Jungle Japes and Brinstar. So they pretty much have my fangirl attention with even just that. 

So from here on out I would like to talk about more of my own impression and opinion of the game itself. As I type this I'm actually playing it since I can't take my hands off it for too long. I'm still getting the feel of the whole game. And since there will be some features I can't try out since multi-player gameplay with people near by who has the hard copy of the game seems too far off here in my country. But If ever I do find people who I can play with to try the multi-player I guess I'll be able to give my thoughts on it. But for now I'll just move on the the modes I can try. 

First off is the Smash mode. You can either play against a CPU opponent or players near you in an all out classic smash fight. So this is like playing Smash bros. like you would on your console either by yourself or with people but instead of having separate controllers you all have your own 3DS units to use so you can play or you can just keep practicing with the CPU opponents. This mode doesn't really need that much of an explanation because if you've played the previous Smash games you would have already gotten it by now. I'm just glad they were able to incorporate the traditional game modes here but then again I can find it too hassling to play with other people because not everyone I know plays this game or even has a 3DS let alone a physical copy of this game so I'm pretty much playing alone with the CPU to keep me company. Sad life, is sad...

Next up is Smash Run. I tried this one with CPU opponents. My first try got me really confused since I didn't really know where to go with only having one objective, which is to kill as many enemy monsters/mobs as you can to get power ups and unlike Subspace Emissary, there was a particular place you have to go while trying to go through the maze like area. Well my next tries it still got me pretty confused. But since it was kind of reminiscent of Subspace Emissary seeing as you get to explore and see places similar to the areas in subspace and fight enemies but this time your objective is different. Your goal here is to collect power ups for an all out smash fest after 5 minutes of exploring the Smash Run area. To be honest I'd rather play this with real people because playing with CPU opponents is rather frustrating and you might sometimes think its unfair since they get more stats so easily. I can Imagine myself having a really good time with people while we struggle to get all the power-up's we need and trying to survive the endless hoards of enemies attacking us. So My over all impression of this is that it was pretty fun despite me being confused most of the time. And I think I'll have an easier time playing this in a larger screen. I didn't get to check or confirm if the Smash Run will be on the WiiU version of the game but if it will be I think I'll have an easier time playing it there. I'm looking forward to someday playing this with other people especially the jump higher than others mode. It was quite frustrating especially when you already in the lead and then suddenly you just explode for no reason. It was fine if I can actually see an explosive bomb hit me or those spiky bombs of doom. Oh, Smash Run why must you be so troll? But despite that I'm still growing to like you as a new game mode! I really feel this mode is fit for human players than playing with CPU and since the Smash Bros. for the WiiU supports up to 8 players that can be such a massive brawl. It can be crazy fun or just plain crzy enough to tear your hair off.

I like the new mechanic on the Classic mode. It also has the similar difficulty meter in Kid Icarus: Uprising which is kinda fun. You get this scale that tips over and piles up how much gold you'll end up spending for going into a certain difficulty. Of course the higher the gold you risk the higher the return shall be as well which makes it worth while. The highest I could probably go would be level 6 difficulty but I think I'll probably die a lot. I'm already proud of myself of managing to survive level 5 difficulty since I'm not really that good in this game but I do enjoy it very much. (Hey for me it's all about the fun.) This type of reward system will end up making me want to try higher difficulties in the future when I can actually survive past level 6.

And yup the new mapping like feature of the game makes me happy too. Before classic mode just pits you against the same characters over and over with just some minor changes if I remember right. But here at least you have the choice of who you want to fight. It's like giving you the chance to even out your chances of winning by not using a straight and an unconstrained method of making you fight other characters. Along the path are coins that you can collect for yourself. The boss at the end can differ depending on the difficulty. The final boss in the end (if you chose to go against both master hand and crazy hand) can get pretty crazy in higher difficulties. Taboo from Brawl was a bit cray-cray already but the one here is literally cray. There was one thing I notice though, when there are times you at least get an assist character on some matches I find it odd that they die so fast. Like your assist dies the moment the match starts. Like a few seconds in. I don't know if its just me not paying attention since I'm busy beating up the other two and try to survive at the same time or the CPU assist is just drunk. Though i do find it funny but annoying at the same time since I end up being an easy target at higher difficulties. (like I said I'm not really good at this game LOL.) But I think that might not happen to a lot of people but well I guess its like practice. You wont be having an assist against other matches especially with real people so you better man up and be prepared for a 1v2 or even a 1v7!

This mode I just find too cute! You fight everyone in the order of which year they debuted. It works the same as the all-stars mode in previous games where there is a portal and some health restoratives. This time you get the maxim tomato, fairy bottle and heart container. It's just pretty much a standard all out smash with like 3 characters after you and they get more annoying depending on the difficulty. The difficulty scale does not apply here sadly but I wish they got it on here too since I like playing with that scale. I find simple pleasures in the tiniest things. I don't know if there's anything more I can say about this instead of being cute to me... Actually the concept is awesome! Lemme just add that. The year concept is awesome! okay there we go, now I think I'm pretty much done.

The next one I wanna talk about is the Multi-man Smash, Target Blast and Home-run Contest. The only thing I think I have complaints about is the Target Blast. I think I like its predecessors better. i like the "Break the Targets" to see how fast I can get all of the targets while using different characters and they all have their own specific stages set up for them for you to be able to utilize their move sets in the most quick and efficient way  so that you can get the fastest clear time. I liked the older one best since for me it required you to think up of ways to get things done fast and it will make you think up of new ways to beat your fastest time. The Target Blast is almost like the Home-run contest now. Beat up the bomb the get the best results. Its just like "beat up the sand bag to make him fly the farthest." type of thing. I think it just took off the variety it used to have when it had a mechanic all on its own. The new Multi-man Smash now takes the form of of the Mii which makes so much sense and is now more nice to look at that the wire frame like silhouettes like before and if I remember right Brawl had the primids. (Do correct me if I'm wrong on the primids.) The home-run Contest for me is pretty much still the same. I was never good at it but I was still fun for me. 

So far so good but I do have a few more complaints. Not everything is all good about the 3DS version of smash bros. just because is a smash game. And that's pretty normal and I actually respect the risk they took when they placed a smash bros. game on a handheld like the 3DS. They did some things right and they also did some things wrong.

One of my greatest complaints was that I have a hard time seeing on the small screen even if there was the indicator to help you. For some reason is really not easy to see where you are especially in a very large stage. Also the button controls felt kind of awkward. I would have preferred the Y and B button to be the attack buttons and the X and A buttons to be the jump buttons to make it at least consistent to the GCN controller. It really felt difficult for me o get used to the controls a bit since I was a bit used to the GCN controller but I think I just need a bit more time to get used to the controls. I also have this fear of actually breaking my 3DS buttons or the handheld itself because I can get pretty intense with the clicking. And I feel the game itself is a bit scattered in other aspects. I just feel that there is something off about it but I can't seem to pin-point it. Maybe I'm just not used to it not being on a console but I know a console version will be coming out but it still feels awkward. Right now I just want to try it out with friends who actually has the copy and we can all play and be all troll together and stuff. 

Over all for me its a good game despite some of my complaints and I am still looking forward to the WiiU version and I want to see what that version has to offer. I hope I can mention more but if I do see more and something mentionable I will probably make a new post about it.